By: jendonna "Error Reprimanding an executive. Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB.

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By: jendonna "Error Reprimanding an executive. Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB. But please know that we appreciate each and every one. See you on the flip side. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edward Put quite simply, Bella was stunning. Her brown eyes looked a little tired, but even then, it was a sign that she was human. Rather, it was a reminder that she was a real person, a natural beauty, and not a Park Avenue Princess who got Botox injections twice a week.

In her novelty pajamas, which were covered in big red lips, Bella looked like exactly the kind of woman I wanted to date. I knew, however, that I was getting ahead of myself. While I had met her online, so to speak, I was not here to date her. I was here to check that she was okay and not lying unconscious on her apartment floor. She was looking at me with alarm. I realized that I still had my fist raised in the air, frozen from when I stopped knocking.

I lowered my hand, not wanting to look like some sort of woman beater or hippie who went around yelling "Fight the Power," whatever that meant. Her voice. She gaped at me for several seconds before nodding her head, her face once again taking on a suspicious look.

We tried to call you. We as in the company. Not the FBI or any other agency that deals with kidnappings. Or at least some sort of hologram, like in Star Wars. Surely someone in IT had educated her on that matter. Either way, she seemed astonished that I had appeared at her door. I waited patiently for her to say something, glancing down to take in the sight of her pajamas. They really were quite comical. So, may I come in? To be fair, I had shocked her by coming to see her.

She was bound to express that shock in certain ways. Or is that going to lead to another man getting too excited? I did tell you in my emails that I tended to ramble when flustered, right?

She then closed the door and leaned back against it. And I thought It was very simply furnished with a couch, arm chair, television, and bookcase.

You could tell someone lived here; there were well-read books in the bookcase, bread crumbs and a blanket on the far end of the couch, framed pictures on the walls and surfaces, and what looked to be a coffee stain on the floor. A lot of my neighbors had apartments that were so clean and sterile that visiting them was like stepping into a clinic of some sort.

At least with Bella, I felt like a colleague — albeit an intrusive one — and not a patient. Even Rachael Ray has a talk show, I hear. An attorney friend of mine gave me her autobiography for Christmas. Um, which I hope is not the reaction Carlisle has to you if you ever bump into him. Sure enough, she perched herself on the edge of the couch, blushing at the Carlisle reference. Is Judge Judy a television personality?

I mean, I now know that. I was wondering if you were okay or you know, infected with the Ebola virus. Not with Ebola, though. I apologized several times for being so defensive. And I got your address from HR so I could come here and check that you were okay. I can show you where they are, though. I hoped I was coming across as sincere. The Edward I had presented in my emails was indeed the real me, and I wanted to reiterate that I had never been angry with her.

It also bothered me, however, that she spoke of herself like she was a lowly minion. Most chefs would not be okay with baking four and twenty blackbirds in a pie. Such a recipe would probably require a lot of seasoning. Anyway, she led me to the cabinet, pointing so I would know where to get a glass from. When I reached over her, she whispered, "Thank you for coming to check on me.

She still seemed somewhat embarrassed by my attention, but the soft voice in which she spoke almost broke my heart. I wondered how many people she knew in New York and whether anyone in IT had missed her presence.

I had definitely missed her correspondence over the last several days. How could anyone not notice this woman? Forget Botox injections and creating the appearance of less frown lines. Why not actually be a little happier? I smiled at her. Me being me, I simply had to select that one. The Mayor had a cheeseburger for a head.

I know many people with big heads, but not like this. If he and Hamburglar go together I bet they get a discount," she joked. The Mayor would just be dead.

Rules to live by. She returned my smile and after an awkward pause I held the glass up. Sorry," Bella said, stepping over to the fridge and opening it. From where I was standing behind her, I could see that the shelves were mostly bare. Bella closed the door quickly and turned to me.

Big-headed politicians included," she explained. I frowned as I filled the glass with water from the sink. I did invite myself over so I might as well do something useful for you. The Mayor will live another day. I assumed she was feeling awkward because I wanted to do something so nice for her.

The hair is just a distraction. I, uh I really want to do this for you. Bella smiled tentatively at me. Would you mind getting me some? Here, let me grab you some money. She handed me a twenty dollar bill. I relented and accepted it, intending to slip it back to her later. Every good CFO knows how an under-the-table transaction works, as sketchy as that might sound. Bella would be fully refunded. I just wanted to take care of her.

I smiled graciously at her. Sorry about that. I took a few deep breaths to get myself under control, but that just sent me into a coughing fit of epic proportions. Once it stopped producing disgusting amounts of phlegm, I sat heavily on the couch, wondering at this alarming but not unwelcome turn of events. Sweet Mercy, but he was good looking. And that smile. It had more of an effect on my nether regions than a kiss from The Masturbator.


Dear Mr Masen

Apparently, every reaction I had made her think I was seventeen. Maybe she wants to be seventeen. That would explain the plastic surgery. Okay, I admit to laughing when she explained her friend stumbled and fell over. She even insisted on using her infomercial voice, which I found to be quite strange.


By: jendonna "Error Reprimanding an executive. Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB. But please know that we appreciate each and every one.


But a reassuring smile or even the barest eye contact from you might have helped. Not only did I have to deal with my anxiety surrounding Mr. Your apology is accepted and we need speak no more about it. Isabella Swan Cullen, Inc.

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